Practicing Stillness and Finding Your Refuge

Author: The Sacred Mat

Getting Curious

We don’t sit in meditation to become good meditators. We sit in meditation so that we’ll be more awake in our lives.

PEMA CHÖDRÖN

At the end of 2019, I reflected on the quality I would like to approach the new year with and what immediately surfaced was Curiosity. A gentle curiosity, with no expectation, that would have me ask more questions, listen mindfully, and open my mind and heart so that I may be surprised by a particular situation, others and even myself.It takes tremendous courage to bring a curiosity grounded in kindness and non-judgment. Gentle Curiosity, in itself has no expectation of reaching a conclusion. It allows for observation and an open hearted awareness. It allows us to view things from a different perspective, and creates the space for deeper connections with ourselves and each other. It creates an openness in our relationships with ourselves and others that allows an unfolding, perhaps leading onto unexpected paths.

Gentle Curiosity, is also an essential quality to ground our practice of yoga, especially meditation. Meditation is not about clearing the mind of all thoughts, or becoming a calmer person. It is a process of getting to know our true selves, of befriending who we are at each moment no matter what that might look or feel like. Of creating the space to get to know our true nature. If we can approach meditation as a unique experience with no presupposed purpose, we can release expectations and free ourselves to be exactly where we are at that moment. Even when the thoughts are a constant chatter, we can simply say to ourselves, “Ah, thoughts”, then let them go. When feelings or discomfort arise, we can say to ourselves, “Ah, feelings” without engaging, and let them go. And, if we find ourselves analyzing, then allowing our curious nature to notice, “Ah, analyzing”, then let it go.When we sit to meditate, we can remind ourselves of the gentle curious inherent quality we all possess, we can bring a lightness and playfulness to our meditation practice. We can approach each time with an openness that allows for a fresh experience.

With gratitude,
Sandra
The Sacred Mat

Being a Warrior

“The root of suffering is resisting the certainty that no matter the circumstances, uncertainty is all we truly have.” ~ Pema Chödrön

Hello Friends,

If any of you have seen movies like the Last Samurai or Star Wars, the ancient warriors or jedis are compelling characters. A warrior accepts that she can never know what will happen to her next. Every time she goes into battle, she does not know what the outcome will be. In order to be able to be fully present, and see what she must do during these uncertain times, she trains and prepares.

Yoga, amongst many things, helps us to be a warrior of sorts. Its teachings and tools encourage us to experiment with becoming comfortable with uncertainty. To sit with the discomfort, to try not to run away from it or to push through it, but to sit, side by side with it.

When we practice asanas or meditate, thoughts, emotions, or physical sensations arise, and we have the opportunity to practice sitting with discomfort. And the more we “train”, we begin to see that these feelings are separate from us, and do not have to take us with them. We are not those feelings. This helps prepare us to sit with the uncertainty that life brings.

Sitting with uncertainty doesn’t mean we do nothing – learning to sit with uncertainty allows us to create the space, so that when we take action, it is with clarity. Our actions will not be distorted by fear, but be grounded in clarity and compassion.

Especially in uncertain times, I encourage each of us to turn to the practices that help us become comfortable with uncertainty. And I invite you to join me in “training to be a warrior of sorts”.

With gratitude,
Sandra
The Sacred Mat

Connections & Kindness

“We cannot live for ourselves alone. Our lives are connected by a thousand invisible threads, and along these sympathetic fibers, our actions run as causes and return to us as results.” ~ Henry Melvill

Hello Friends,

This photograph is one of my favorites, because captured in this one frame is connection! It is a photo of my friend’s and my children — 2 families, representing 5 continents, 7 languages and 4 religions. It is taken at The Golden Temple in Amritsar, India, one of the holiest temples of Sikhism. In the background, is the temple and the thousands of people, waiting patiently and peacefully in line to enter. In the foreground, the children, who grew up in vastly different environments, are watching the sunset, chatting and smiling — connection!

None of the children in the foreground are Sikh, yet it makes no difference to them. They are inspired and appreciate the beauty, serenity and sacredness of this space. So much so, that years later, one child shares how she was moved by the meal she had at the langar, community dinning hall. This meal is given to everyone without distinction and without proselytizing. This act of kindness, given freely, without conditions, is humbling and soul filling.

“It was designed to uphold the principle of equality between all people regardless of religion, caste, colour, creed, age, gender, or social status, a revolutionary concept in the caste-ordered society of 16th century India where Sikhism began. In addition to the ideals of equality, the tradition of langar expresses the ethics of sharing, community, inclusiveness, and oneness of all humankind. Every Sikh Gurdwara (place of worship) has a langar, providing free vegetarian food for all comers.”*

How can we foster connections in our busy lives? Big or small, and with those known and unknown? Perhaps, we can try by choosing kindness; kindness given freely, and without conditions, in our everyday interactions. These acts do not need to be big overtures, sometimes it’s the small ones that mean the most. Perhaps, holding the door for someone, instead of hurriedly trying to get to our destination, or giving up our seat on the subway. Stopping to allow a pedestrian to cross despite driving late to an appointment; or letting that mom with the tired young children go ahead of us at the supermarket check out; or even giving someone a quarter for their meter.

These acts of kindness may seem inconsequential, however, they do have a ripple effect. We interact with so many people on a daily basis and never know what might be happening in their life at that moment. Hopefully, each of us has been fortunate enough to have been recipients of kindness and have experienced its ability to change our perspective, even for just that moment. The virtuous loop of unintended consequences of kindness is also that we ourselves feel more content and connected. We may never know how our kindness may affect another, but isn’t it worth a try?

With gratitude,
Sandra
The Sacred Mat

Golden Temple Photo Credit:  Thank you to a wonderful photographer and friend, Jay Wasson.
Sources Cited: *Wikipedia

Get to know your enough

“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.” ~ Thomas Merton

Dear Friends,

We all have a point of “enough” — that point of being satiated, but not overdoing it. We need to avoid those moments of “gluttony” – of the metaphorical over eating. To know our “enough”. That point where we are content. For too much can hurt or hinder us.

Know our enough on the yoga mat or when we work out — if we push too much, we can hurt our bodies.

Know our enough in doing for our children – too much and we deny them the opportunity to learn. To become independent and gain confidence in themselves.

Know our enough when we are caught up in our emotions. For this stops us from our own action. Our own ability to draw from our strengths and help ourselves.

Know our enough when saying “yes” to all of the activities, work, family and social commitments – for too much spreads us thin, feeling stressed. Not allowing us time to truly rest and make authentic connections with ourselves and those that are most important to us.

We all struggle with finding that “enough” and it is a balancing act that requires checking in with oneself with compassion. To reflect and identify the priorities in our lives and to align our actions and commitments along the same lines. To be honest with ourselves, to know the difference between working hard and over doing it.

The exact level of “enough” is unique to each of us and can differ for us at different stages of our lives. I invite you to ask yourselves, “Where do I need to learn my enough? Where can I create that balance that knowing my enough can bring? How can I practice my enough today?”

With gratitude,
Sandra
The Sacred Mat

Photo by Ravi Kant on Pexels.com

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